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Don't try to fix me I am not broken.




September 14th, 2007

6 yrs ago

The wreck happened 6yrs ago today and that is a total mind fuck to me it seems like yesterday but it also feels like it was a lifetime ago. I should be in the mathlab right now working on my math homework but I just cant bring myself to do it.....I should but today I feel so blah and just kinda ick that I dont wanna deal with it...work is gonna suck balls tonight I can tell already. Hopefully my netflix came today so I can veg out when I get home tonight that'd rock my socks.

August 24th, 2007

Time to get my learning on

My two year hiatus is finally over im going back to school kids!! I will be keeping up my full time schedule at work though and will be going to school full time 14 credit hours to be exact. I will be taking German, theater, math and abnormal psychology...I hope I dont die lol. Im excited though.

August 7th, 2007


Anyone who gets a channel called "LOGO" aka the gay channel watch this channel thursday at 8pm a special debate will be held with all the possible canidates for the 2008 election. The debate will be strictly about issues pertaining to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community.....please please watch if you can I know this debate will have a huge impact on who I vote for this coming election

July 29th, 2007


So its been a minute since I updated and I thought I should let you all know whats up with me. I'm a Pharmacy Tech now or really im in training at work to be one I landed a sweet job at the pharmacy in wal-mart. The money isnt great but im gonna get another raise when I complete my training, I miss everyone like crazy and if your reading this your one of the people im missing. How is the lovelife going you may or may not be wondering its going is all I can say. Im getting so worn down from this relationship though its so fulfilling yet so anti-fulfilling. I only get stolen days and phone calls to satiate me its the same thing every few months I get about 6-9 days of just being with her 24/7 I get a taste of what a married life is like we cook meals together go to the movies argue over who hogs the blankets and who snores in bed. I like that its always so nice and perfect and in a blink of an eye its over and Lee is crying because its time to separate and I stay quiet and depressed and hold her and tell her its only for a little while. I go back to my job and this town that I hate and she goes back to school and her roomates her roomates by the way who I finally met are fucking awesome I had so much fun bar hopping Philly with them. My mother is still disabled and still so reliant on me for so much that it makes me sick I want to be free of her thats an awful thing to say about my own mother but its true. I keep telling myself this semester im gonna go back to school and it never happens....it will one day I just gotta keep telling myself it will get better. Lee and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary on September 12th and it will be my longest running relationship ever im proud of that. Sadly we once again wont see eachother on our anniversary but a few days later she will be here for a week or so like usual and we will do something nice to celebrate then. I just think its funny I have 2 engagement rings thats right I have 2 one is the classic style one but its a fake and I dont get to wear it all the time due to certain peoples unaccepting and cruel ways to which I will not get into. Then there is the one I wear every day and it goes on my ring finger on my right hand. But its not a normal looking engagement ring its a silver band will real albeit small diamonds and emeralds. Just one more thing I have to grin and bear I have my public and private engagement rings how sad that people still have to deal with this shit over the simple act of loving another person. Im out both of our friends and families know about eachother and have from the start still gotta hide though and it drives me nuts sometimes. Lee drives me crazy sometimes and sometimes she says stuff that just makes me wanna go what the fuck are you on? She is forgetful, odd, she is also the worst naviagator ever, but she is also sweet, loving, and artistic. This update is getting alittle to long winded time to wrap this shit up kids. So to summarize new job=kickass, love life=emotional roller coaster. Family=annoying.

July 16th, 2007


I wanna go home can I go home yet?

June 3rd, 2007

Gay pride month

As some of you may or may not know June is gay pride month. I hope anyone reading this takes into consideration and give serious thought to what gay pride means. You dont have to be gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgendered to celebrate this month or recognize it. Love knows no gender and many people need to realize that. It shouldn't be considered wrong or immoral to love someone and it breaks my heart to think about this. I will now post something I have posted before on livejournal but feel since it is gay pride month that it should be posted again to give people a view of how hurtful the world can be.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friend’s I’m a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I am the queer who was brutally beaten and raped because a group of “real” men wanted to show me what I was missing and to make me a “real” woman.


March 17th, 2007

Today is St Patricks day and is also my 23rd birthday omg kill me I feel very old! I know ive been bad about posting but not much has been going on between looking for work and getting temp jobs and taking care of my mother its been to much of the same and its snowing again here and I hate that!!! I just shoveled tonight and will need to again when I get up in the morning crap! on the upside im going out partying tonight and since its my birthday that means im not paying for my drinks sweet!!! I hope everyone has a safe and happy st patricks day and please to all those reading this dont be dickheads and get trashed on green beer while wearing a kiss me im irish shirt when your not actually irish and then puke on some poor bastard....its not cute and all us real irish are laughing at you because of it. LOL..so sit back rock the celtic music enjoy your family and to all you Irish out there take a bit of time to reflect on your ancestors and how hard they worked so you could have what you have today! Hugs and kisses all.

December 30th, 2006

(no subject)

table align="center" style="width:300px;border:1px solid black;background-color:white;color: black;margin: 10px 0 10px 0;">

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Get a mullet.

Get your resolution here.


November 13th, 2006

Im not dead I promise.

Soo I know I like dropped off the face off the earth and what not but ive been busy...delt with anniversary of dad dying....got laid off at work....Mom got hurt again ::twitch:: That woman needs to be shot they shoot horses when they go lame why not people? I have been job hunting my ass off as well hopeful my constant work at it will pay off cause I need the fucking money soo bad that it aint even funny. Also been talking more to the lawyers they are hiring another professional to state what kind of negligence the hospital commited and what not so we have more proof to staple there balls to the truth when we present it. But the lawyer thinks there gonna be itching to settle so hopefully this mess ends soon...but it probably wont cause the universe hates me....Lee also thinks im avoiding her lately >.> lame. Lets see what else is going on in my world??? Hmmm not a hell of alot aside from working my ass off....I hate life lol. I try not to worry so much but I always do and it makes me act like a freaking loon. Oh also I got a doctors appointment today for my yearly woofreakinghoo kids ack.....Well I guess I will go change out of my interview clothes now since im back and change into something more comfortable to wear to my yearly....god I hope the probe thing isnt cold this time.

October 10th, 2006

2 Word anwsers only

So yes, I stole this. You can steal it, too. Just answer everything with two words. It's fun.

1. When was the last time you shaved?

This afternoon

2. Explain what ended your last relationship.

stupid shit

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?

sleeping soundly

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Changing clothes

5. Are you any good at math?

whats math?

6. Your prom night?

dont remember

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?

Probably not

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?

Yes sir

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?

No song

10. Last thing you received in the mail?

bank statement

11. How many different beverages have you had today?


12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?

Not often

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?


14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

Should I?

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?

wisdoms removed

16. What is out your door?


17. Any plans for Friday night?

work sleep

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

Hell no

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?


20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?

Wee! Yes!

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?

No icky

22. Some things you are excited about?

moving out

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?

Vodka, peach

24. Describe your keychain(s)?

care bear

25. Where do you keep your change?

wallet, car

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
school play

27. What kind of winter coat do you own?

black, furry

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Hot sunny

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?

Closed, freak.
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